Third From The Sun
Posted by Dirk on February 7, 2009
Explaining the death of the Sun to a nine-year-old boy isn’t such a big deal. “Well, one day, billions of years from now, the Sun will expand and swallow Mercury, Venus, and most likely Earth as well. Even if Earth is spared, the Sun will boil away all the water and the atmosphere, and that’s pretty much it.”
“That’s OK, cause we won’t be around anyway, right, Dad? We’ll probably blow each other up by then.”
“Right, son. That’s the spirit.”
Yes, for my nine-year-old son, mass extinction of the human race and the ultimate inhalation of the earth by a blazing star is pretty damn cool. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the four-year-old listening intently behind the couch.
That same evening, my wife, while tucking the little tike into bed, is confronted by a most odd question.
“Mommy, do we have a rocket ship?”
“A rocket ship? No sweetie, we don’t have a rocket ship. Why, honey?”
“So we can get off Earth when the Sun blows up.”
The conversation continues with my wife back-pedalling, explaining that there is no cause for concern, and that, in general, Daddy is a complete dumbass.
“I was just learnin’ him a little science, honey. It’s not my fault the kid has no concept of time,” I say. But it doesn’t help. I’m just stupid now. It’ll wear off, but it’s a badge that will be pinned to my proverbial jacket for some time. It’s like the time my older son asked me why Jesus is always holding out his hand in all of those pictures. “He’s saying, ‘Give me two dollars,’” I tell him with a chuckle. Apparently Jesus jokes don’t go over well in elementary school.
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You don’t mention that said 4-year-old was close to tears, panicking that we did not have the trillion dollars to BUY a rocket ship. His expression said,”Oh, man, we are SCREWED!”
There are too many things about this post that I love, to list!
There ya go Dirk. That’s what we’ve been missing for the last month. Just jot down a moment of each day where you stumble and the rest of us can be entertained.